Gay men kissing kicked out of restaurant--why it matters to trans people

A group of gay men was asked to leave an El Paso, Texas, restaurant after two of the men kissed each other.

According to the elpasotimes.com, security guards at the Chico's Tacos restaurant told the men to leave and used anti-gay slurs. The men called the police, who were none too sympathetic themselves.

In fact, the men were told by police that homosexual conduct was illegal and they could be arrested for it, although El Paso has an anti-discrimination law for businesses that covers sexual orientation, and the Supreme Court's ruling in the case of Lawrence v. Texas in 2003 struck down the illegality of "homosexual conduct" nationwide. So the El Paso police don't even know their own laws.

But the men weren't trans, so why should trans people care? There are several reasons.

First of all, there are plenty of gay and lesbian trans people out there, many of whom are partnered with either trans or non-trans people of the same sex. It could have been any one of us.

Second, discrimination against any group means that all marginalized groups are potential targets. If Chico's Tacos doesn't want gay men (or "faggot stuff," as one guard said) in their restaurant, what happens when a person who is obviously trans comes in--how will he or she be treated? Are there other groups that aren't welcome as well? Discrimination against one group puts us all at risk.

And third (look out--here comes my well-worn "it's-all-about-gender" argument), it's all about gender. (This argument is also known as my "why-the-T-belongs-in-GLBT" argument.) It's just as much about the gender of these men as it is about their sexual orientation.

This is where the lines between gender and sexual orientation get blurry--because if this had been a man and a woman stealing a kiss in line at Chico's Tacos, I can almost guarantee that nothing would have been said or done. Male/female couples kiss in public all the time. It's so commonplace that, unless they're slobbering all over each other in some position from the Kama Sutra, no one would have even noticed.

It was the gender of these two kissing people that made the difference. They were discriminated against as much for their gender as for their sexual orientation. And until we can get past the whole "gender thing" and what that means in our society, we will never get past the whole "sexual orientation thing."

Because it's all about gender. And it's why the T belongs in GLBT. Because for all of us in this little alphabet soup, our gender matters, our gender is used against us, and our gender is the basis for the discrimination that we suffer.

And that's why trans people--gay, lesbian, straight, queer, or whatever word defines our sexual orientation--should care.

(Photo: MileHighGayGuy (right) and friend at the Interactive Male Big Gay Kiss booth at Denver PrideFest)
(Article in elpasotimes.com via Huffington Post)