'Orgasm a day' for British teens

Whether you find it offensive or delightful, there's one thing we can probably all agree on--it wouldn't happen in the U.S.

The National Health Service in Britain has distributed a pamphlet touting the health benefits of an enjoyable sex life and "an orgasm a day" for teens.

Some people are outraged and some think it's an excellent idea. Coming from a U.S. background, where "self-love" is rarely discussed in public and can get you arrested (remember Pee Wee Herman?), I squirmed a little, but also thought it was hilarious--particularly since, for two long, agonizing years in another lifetime, I taught junior high.

I found it to be an impossible task, because, although I generally liked the kids, they were absolutely inhuman--especially the boys. It seemed like all they wanted to do was fight and talk about sex (in rather boisterous and crude ways).

I didn't understand them. They couldn't sit still. They couldn't concentrate on anything in the classroom, and they were, in general, little whirlwinds of uncontrolled and uncontrollable energy, passion, and frustration.

I didn't make it as a junior high teacher. I simply wasn't prepared for this onslaught of adolescent insanity. It wasn't until years later, after I started gender transition (and testosterone shots) that I finally understood--it was the hormones, stupid!

Once, at a presentation, a participant asked me what I had learned from taking male hormones and how that knowledge would have changed my life had I known it sooner.

I had many answers for that, but the first one that came into my head was this: "I learned how my 14-year-old male students felt, and I would have understood them."

The U.S. Department of Education has never called me for my advice, but if they did, I would suggest one thing: that every woman who plans to teach teens be given a couple shots of testosterone first, so that she can understand firsthand what's going on with the boys--and that every male teacher be given a booster, just so he can remember.

I think, had I known at that time what testosterone does, especially to the human sex drive, I would have been far more compassionate with my young charges. I doubt that I would still be teaching. I wasn't cut out for the job. But, boy, would I have seen things differently.

So good luck to the teachers in Britain. This campaign may end up saving them countless hours of agony in the classroom. And maybe the boys can get extra bathroom breaks or something.

I only wish I would have known.