Op-tical illusion: a trio of op-tions

Pre-op, post-op, non-op--more language issues. I really don't like these terms, although I'm not offended by them, and I don't get upset when someone uses them.

I understand that they have their place in defining where a person might consider him- or herself in the transition process, but, in my opinion, they can also serve some nefarious purposes.

For those who are new to this topic, my definitions of these terms are as follows:

• Pre-op: a transitioning person who has not yet had genital surgery, but who intends to do so.
• Post-op: a transitioning or transitioned person who has had some type of genital surgery.
• Non-op: a trans-identified person (either transgender or transsexual) who does not ever intend to have genital surgery.

If other people see these terms differently, I hope to hear that in the comments section.

But I have a trio of complaints about this trio of op-tions.

First, I think that they serve to further categorize us within our community, when we already can't agree on what categories we should have--or even who is and who is not in our community.

Second, they serve to set up a hierarchy within our community, with "post-op" being the best or the most desirable way to be, "pre-op" being somehow incomplete or less manly or womanly, and "non-op" being questionably legitimate (should we turn in our trans cards?).

And third, they continue the very focus that we say we do not want, which is basically a bull's-eye painted right on our genitalia.

My readers know that I consider myself a transsexual person, even though I have not had genital surgery and never will. I have been on male hormones for 12 years, I have had chest reconstruction, I have had a legal name change (complete with new college diplomas!), and my driver's license, birth certificate, and passport say "male."

I actually went from being "pre-op" to "non-op" at some point in the last decade. When I started my transition, I thought that I would eventually get surgery. I never referred to myself as pre-op. I just figured that I would have some type of genital surgery someday.

But after waiting a couple of years for the surgery fairies to leave a penis under my pillow, I realized that it wasn't going happen without a conscious effort on my part and a winning lottery ticket. And the longer I lived without it, the more comfortable I became. So I eased into non-op without a party or a whole lot of fuss, but I don't refer to myself in that way. I'm just a guy without a dick.

But what really bothers me about these terms is that they are used within our own community to define us and to make some of us more legitimate than others. And there is a notion out there that a person who really wants and needs genital surgery will find a way to get it, and that if he or she doesn't, that person must not be "legitimate." He or she is just "playing" at being trans, like a baseball game with a lifetime of extra innings (and wouldn't you know, they ran out of weenies at the bottom of the ninth).

It's not true that if someone wants surgery bad enough, he or she will find a way to get it. FTM surgery is prohibitive for most guys, and although MTF surgery is much less expensive, not everybody has an extra $25,000 in their couch cushions. If you're raising kids or working a minimum-wage job, if you're unemployed or battling an illness with no health insurance, the money just isn't there. I'm not in any of these situations, and the money still isn't there. And even if I got the money now, I'd forget about the footlong and take a cruise, anyway.

The problem is that the non-trans world is not going to stop concentrating on our genitals if we can't stop concentrating on them. So I wouldn't miss these terms if they were to disappear tomorrow.

What do you think?